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Nero Taijutsu- C Rank

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Nero Taijutsu- C Rank

Post by Vance King on Sat Aug 27, 2016 8:38 pm

Jutsu Name: Dynamo
Rank: C
Type: Taijutsu
Element: (The element, if there is one, of the jutsu.)
Range: 5 meters
Hand Signs Requirement: N/A
Description: The person using the technique flips forward on their hands before springing upwards, while they are in the air they soar downwards delivering an extremly powerful kick. This kick causes a few cracks on the ground in the area where the foot landed, spreading out 5 meters

Jutsu Name: Dervish
Rank: D
Type: Taijutsu
Element: (The element, if there is one, of the jutsu.)
Range: 10 meters
Hand Signs Requirement: (How many, if any, hand signs are required.)
Description: The user of the technique jumps before landing on his hands and spinning around with their legs out, this move is capable of hitting someone 3 times quickly.

Jutsu Name: Devils Ladder
Rank: C
Type: Taijutsu
Element:
Range: 3 meters
Hand Signs Requirement: (How many, if any, hand signs are required.)
Description: The user of this technique kicks the opponent in the chin before delivering a series of 5 kicks to the opponents chin from below, ascending 2 feet higher into the air with each hit,


Last edited by Vance King on Sun Aug 28, 2016 9:06 am; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Nero Taijutsu- C Rank

Post by Bastian on Sun Aug 28, 2016 9:03 am

Jutsu Name: Dynamo
Rank: C
Type: Taijutsu
Element: (The element, if there is one, of the jutsu.)
Range: 5 meters
Hand Signs Requirement: N/A
Description: The person using the technique flips forward on their hands before springing upwards, while they are in the air they soar downwards delivering an extremly powerful kick. This kick causes a few cracks on the ground in the area where the foot landed.
How big is the impact area? Assuming that five meters is the distance the technique itself travels.

Jutsu Name: Dervish
Rank: C
Type: Taijutsu
Element: (The element, if there is one, of the jutsu.)
Range: 10 meters
Hand Signs Requirement: (How many, if any, hand signs are required.)
Description: The user of the technique jumps before landing on his hands and spinning around with their legs out, this move is capable of hitting someone 3 times quickly.
This is a D-Rank technique.

Jutsu Name: Devils Ladder
Rank: C
Type: Taijutsu
Element:
Range: 3 meters
Hand Signs Requirement: (How many, if any, hand signs are required.)
Description: The user of this technique kicks the opponent in the chin before delivering a series of 5 kicks to the opponents chin from below, ascending higher into the air with each hit,
How much higher with each kick?
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Re: Nero Taijutsu- C Rank

Post by Vance King on Sun Aug 28, 2016 9:06 am

Fixed my good sir
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Re: Nero Taijutsu- C Rank

Post by Bastian on Sun Aug 28, 2016 9:08 am

1/2 Approved.
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Re: Nero Taijutsu- C Rank

Post by Naomi on Sun Aug 28, 2016 9:44 pm

1 - OVERALL;

The primary issue: effort. The ideas which form the basis of the following techniques are good - still requiring slight alterations here and there - though there is a clear lack of evidence indicating that there was effort implemented into the creation of these techniques. I am under the impression that you managed to get an idea, though when you went on describing details following the concept of the technique, it's execution, results, and such... it feels as if you just gave up. This is not to be confused as setting a minimum amount of words, but rather have you aim to create more descriptive techniques by spending time having thoughts such as: "Does this realistically work?", "How can I explain what makes this or that achievable?", "What are some potential weaknesses?", etc.

Following this particular line of thinking greatly aids in creating high-quality techniques, as well as improve your abilities to roleplay combat scenarios in a fair and accurate [semi-realistically] manner. As a byproduct of the process, one will typically ascertain which techniques are worth the effort and thus refrain from creating techniques that you will rarely use - if at all. Hence, I cannot approve any of the following techniques as a result of this mindset - as I firmly believe that you are capable of much more spectacular work than this. I will list some brief notes regarding each individual technique as to aid in the development, though will not go to great lengths as I suspect you may revamp or scrap the techniques altogether.

2 - DYNAMO;

Please be sure to remove the wording in the 'Element' field of the template.

I have some trouble imagining as to how the execution of the technique would play out, for example, would the user do a front-flip or a back-flip (if even those at all)? I initially suspected that it would make use of a semi-front flip, and using the momentum, push themselves off of the ground into the air. Though if you were to do a front-flip, would you not be looking away at your opponent? Both in its execution, and whilst in the air - which seems a tad bit problematic; in the sense you cannot see where the opponent is exactly and thus have little to no knowledge where he'll be (provided s/he does not stand still). Would it not be much better to just jump forward into the air? Also, how high would you jump? You should also take heed of the fact that people, whilst they are in the air, have tremendous difficulty maneuvering (hence a kunai will inevitably hit you), or you'll be unable to divert your natural path. Feel free to add unto the technique as to remove or otherwise limit that weakness. These cracks on the field should have further details, such as their depth, how bad is it, is it troublesome to maneuver around the affected area or do these cracks have no real effect on either you or your opponent when fighting in that location? I imagine that this under the assumption of ordinary earth, what if it were concrete/metal/sand, etc; would there be some effects there?

Hopefully this will aid you in further developing the technique, or at least give a rough understanding as to what I meant in my previous paragraph; alongside the subsequent reviews.

3 - DERVISH;

As before, please be sure to remove the 'Element' and 'Hand Signs' fields.

Whether you were inspired by One Piece's Sanji or not - this bears great similarities to his Party Table Kick Course, so I imagine you wish for a similar effect - thus I have a rough idea. The first actual issue lies within the range of the technique, it's ten meters. As it is currently described, it is an impossible feat for it to be as far as this - unless your character is greater than ten meters in height; which I imagine is not the case. Instead of outright giving the technique a range, it would suffice to neglect mentioning it - seeing as it is a melee strike, which then it's effective range would depend on the individual and thus become a bit odd to specify a range when the legs of another are just not capable of hitting that far.

A small list of oddities in regards to this technique - for example, why does the user need to jump? Would it not suffice to just perform a handstand? Would you jump only for potential ambushes as to clear out a small ensemble of opponents with the AoE nature of the technique? Sanji, as I mentioned earlier, only jumps in such scenarios or otherwise unto someones head and then spin around as to kick everyone at head-level. When you mention that the technique is capable of striking someone three times quickly, would that imply that the user rotates three times in an instant? Or did you mean that each rotation hits someone three times [Which is a bit odd, considering you only have two legs]. Another thing pops up - how does one counter getting dizzy from doing this?

4 - DEVIL'S LADDER

Yet again, there is no need to specify an actual range for the technique, as it is nothing more than a melee-strike.

The primary issue lies within the concept of throwing someone in the air with a kick to the chin - it seems much more likely to stun or otherwise decapitate someone using this. The neck whilst relatively durable, could not possibly withhold the strike of a kick that sends a 200-lbs man 2-4 feet into the air. The other oddity lies within how you are successfully kicking someone in the chin, sending them up by about two feet, five times. How is the user keeping up? If the user lands and then jumps back up, it would be more acceptable for someone to have enough time of recovering and thus negating the concept of the technique; rather than have you perma-stunned them for five entire kicks.
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Re: Nero Taijutsu- C Rank

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